Saturday, November 28, 2009

I am so tired

I didn't do shit with my time off. I knit a little, but that's about it. I need to write my syllabus. bad. I am just so devastated by my BIL that I can hardly think.

Maybe more later, maybe not.

Monday, September 21, 2009

In my meeting

I'm in a meeting right now. I wish everyone would shut up. I can feel my depression taking over again. I don't want anyone to talk to me, or look at me. I wish everyone would wait their turn to speak. I wish everyone would actually think before they speak.

Am I like this? Am I really this annoying when I am not being surly and annoyed? Please for the love of God no one ask me what is wrong. The worst part about this is when people ask what's wrong and I really have no answer.

Thanks for volunteering me to do everything, jerkwads. Thanks. Really, thanks for nothing. I hope you all get the same treatment soon. I really do.


I can't do another hour of this.


Monday, September 7, 2009

Freakin' rain

After a weekend of doing next to nothing, I needed to get back on the horse. I forced myself to go to bed at midnight and got up after only hitting the snooze button once. The cats wouldn't let me rest, they were hungry apparently. I did manage to work out for 15 minutes or so, though.

Andy drove me to and from work as it's still pretty humid out and the rain has been unpredictable. I farted around a little, made dinner way too late (Andy decided that playing WoW was a better use of his time than cooking dinner like he said he would) and thus ended up going walking way too late. I just now got home after a grievously abbreviated walk because the rain was starting up and it was really dark. In addition to this, my tea time beverage hit me at the point of no return, that spot where it is equally far to walk home each way, making it quite uncomfortable to walk fast.

I will probably call it a night here. Frank came by the 2 pm class to observe and kept saying how he wouldn't have changed anything; I hope he means it. I guess it wouldn't be in his best interest to lie...

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

I'm trying, I really am.

I was going to walk to school today, or at the very least bike, but then I realised I had about 30 lbs of books in my backpack that needed to go to the office. I snacked very little while there (just some nuts and dried fruit) and came straight home after class to make dinner. Unfortunately, Andy won't be home for another hour, and dinner has been "ready" for an hour before now, so I'm not sure how he will react. I can't help it that he is on a different schedule than me. One of the contributors to my weight gain was me waiting to eat with him, so I would starve, snack, then eat a big meal. I think he understands that I am serious about needing to lose weight, so here's hoping he doesn't get upset.

After dinner, (with minimal cheese I might add) I went for a walk around Dedmon. I took a loner way and went backwards, but somehow I still wasn't gone for more than 30 minutes. What gives? Do I need to walk farther?

I am going to try and keep this updated so I can track my progess.

Perhaps I will do yoga tomorrow evening, who knows?

Monday, August 31, 2009

School Days

Today was the first day back to school. I am trying hard to strictly schedule my days so I don't slack off like last year, which was an unqualified disaster. Well, okay, Fall wasn't bad. Spring, on the other hand... oye.

My classroom is tiny, which angers me to no end. Frank might be able to get me a new room, but that will be a hassle in and of itself.

I haven't had any cheese today. Anyone who knows me knows how big of a deal this is. I need to break up with cheese, in a bad way. Oh, but I love it so...

I am determined to lose weight. This morning I tried on my dress pants and none fit. I wanted to cry. So now, I am going to get myself up at 7 every morning, even weekends, and work out for at least 30 minutes, hopefully 45. I wasted SO much time last year sleeping in, and don't even get me started on this summer. I was probably only awake for 1/3 of the summer. I just went for a 20-ish minute walk, and I would like to try and do that every night after dinner. Even though I ate about 45 minutes ago, I still feel pleasantly full and satisfied from my dinner of about 1/3 of a tiny can of tuna and half a can of spaghettios. Not the best of chioces, I know, but at least it wasn't pizza or mac and cheese.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

So much time, so little to say....

Well, visiting my mum's last weekend was crappy. I stayed too long, I upset my mother, I intruded (apparently) by cleaning up her house for her.

This weekend isn't shaping up to be much better. I got my last check today, reminding me its been almost 3 years since my dad died. I slept in until 12 because I didn't fall asleep until 6 or so, and basically laid around and read until 3 when Scrubs went off. I went to look for my gauges because I want my top ear holes to stop growing over, but I must have tossed them out. I'm going to try and leave earrings in at all times now, because it's kind of painful to have to re-poke holes in my ears every time I want to wear earrings. I've had these bastards for almost 10 years. Jesus. That's scary to think about. 10 years in August. Lots of milestones are coming up this August. I turn 25, my top earring holes turn 10, it will have been 3 years since my dad dies, my last year of Grad school will start, I will be penniless until I get paid by the university... Goddamn.

Anyway I need to repot a bunch of my plants, and I am currently amping myself to do so. One plant grows about an inch a day, no joke. That fucker keeps on going. I also planted my cantaloupe seeds last night, so we'll see how they do...

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

(No Song)

I'm not sure if I am doing better or worse. I have gained a few pounds, but I have been walking... Okay I walked by the river today for 10 minutes and that was it, but hey it's a start. Andy and I got smart and realised that all of our AA batteries were dead when we went to Wii fit today, so they are all now safely charging. Maybe tomorrow morning we will be able to have some fun on it.

I'm trying pretty hard to stay organized and keep my shit in order. I think one of my biggest problems is my lack of direction at any given point in time. I made a small step toward remedying that by planning out dinner for the rest of the week. let's just hope I can start new habits and forget the old ones, i.e. waiting until I'm famished to eat, eating a ton, then feeling disgusting and unmotivated afterward.

I really want to get back on a proper sleep schedule, but I find that is hard to do without the help of pharmaceuticals. I hate drugs, I hate needing them, and I hate even considering taking them. I hate taking aspirin for pete's sake. I'm trying to convince myself that I won't be a drug addict just because I need a little help from some tylenol pm to sleep every once and a while... right?

I'm goign to try and ogranize things a little more. I have a long way to go before I am happy with how the house looks. Godspeed, little Katamari!

Saturday, June 6, 2009

She's Crafty

I just cut up some ancient Rolling Stone mags and made some art! I'm so tired right now though. Guber is coming up in a few hours so I should probably nap, as most night out with him end in someone puking or something large being set on fire. You can't tell me I'm wrong.

I finished one sock; it is SO comfortable! I started on th next, did one rep of the scarf, and then started in on the collage things. OH and I painted some picture frames for my mum yesterday. I've been active in the arts and crafts lately...

Let's go take a nap!

Wednesday, June 3, 2009


I joined Spark people, the online fitness/wellness/nutrition website. It looks promising, but seems like a lot of work. This summer shouldn't be a huge problem for me but the school year will be another beast entirely.

I cleaned up Andy's bathroom, so i feel pretty good about that. Yesterday was kind of a down day; I just felt crappy without knowing why. All at once, I wanted to scream, cry, dance, jump, punch something, anything... I was having pretty major anxiety issues, I guess. I'm very tired now from it. It sticks with me, and I feel guilty for wasting a day on feeling shitty.

Mom's socks are coming along. I wanted to do those before I finished her scarf, so I would know how long to make the scarf.

It's raining outside. I was hoping that the next few days would be nice so that Andy and I could spend them on the river or something nice like that. I long for a picnic at the park or even just in the back yard, something nice and outside, away from what we normally do.

I'm off to try and knit some more.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Kumquats: The Devil Inside.

Holy Hannah Montana, I just ate a kumquat. Sort of. I bit into the little fucker and instantly spit it back out. Never in my life have I had such a violent reaction to a food. Hands down, it was the nastiest thing I have ever eaten. Or, in my case, bit into and then spat into my sink. I then tried to eat just the outside, as that is what I am told is the part to eat, but I just couldn't do it. I rewarded myself for trying something new with a cupcake.

I worked a tiny bit on mom's scarf. I cleaned to kitchen to make up for my inactivity. while you can't see it on the outside, everything behind closed doors and drawers is neatly organized, though. I found myself wondering how long it would last.

I just now gave Tessica her housewarming gift, an old Hokie cooler/ottoman. Interesting stuff.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

YMCA lies, goodwill kind of sucks, and my philanthropy is a little misguided...

So, Andy and I made the executive decision to clean out the junk room. There is a good reason for the name... After we found out that my 2 year old 19-inch TV didn't stay on anymore, and that Andy's old CD player is a piece of junk, we agreed that giving them to Goodwill would be our best option. Hell, if they can't sell them, I feel sure they know where to recycle them.

While out, we found this fantastic record player cabinet at the YMCA thrift shop, and the sticker on it proudly proclaimed, "WORKS!" It didn't. The needle head was missing, and since it was rather old, we saw no reason to waste our efforts on finding a replacement. Plus it was heavy as hell.

So, we schlepped around BBurg a little, found nothing there, then went to CBurg, bought some random crap at a different Goodwill store, and decided on a nice iPod/stereo system for the junk room. Oh, and we bought a new flat screen for the junk room too. I figured out that the cat pee smell was not, as I had originally thought, on the carpet. Rather, it was from a pile of clothes my cats had made into a bathroom. I tossed them out.

Now the Junk room looks less junky. We're going to move the Wii and Wii accessories in there, to get them out of the living room, all of the cat jungle stuff is in there, and I moved the chairs back a bit, so there is more room for Wii fit and Rock Band. I am pretty excited and upbeat about the cleaning going on in my home.

I knit a few more repeats of the scarf while doing laundry today. I was very proud of myself because although Andy was with me, I didn't ask him to do anything. He almost always does the laundry, as I am kind of lazy about it. Now that I am not in school, it seems I have more time to just be productive. Let's hope I can keep it up all summer....

First Day Part 2

Still inspired, for a change. I even managed to NOT tell my mum that I was knitting for her, even though we talked on the phone for about 20 minutes today.

I've been feeling ill again. :( Hopefully I will sleep well.

OH SHIT Andy just got paid, hell yes I can get groceries now!!

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

First Day

I am hoping to stay active, not sit and whine about how bored I am all the time, and stay positive. I joined today, and I could not be more excited. I was inspired to begin my mother's scarf (starting with tracking down a pattern...) and found many other projects to keep me hands busy over the summer.

Let's get moving!