Monday, February 27, 2012

Monday, I'm in Love

I actually like Mondays. I don't like all of the "blergh Monday" attitudes that float around every seven days. I love my job, I love going to my job, and I love starting a new week. In fact, I might say that Saturday is my least favourite day of the week, followed by Friday. The anticipation of a weekend is what turns me off of Fridays while the anxiety of accomplishing something every weekend crushes Saturdays for me.

I don't work on Saturdays. That might sound like a "duh" statement, but as I am a teacher, that may sound odd to some. Sure, I have papers to grade, emails to respond to, lessons to consider, etc. But, I figure if most Christians can take Sundays off without feeling bad at all, I can take Friday night through Saturday night off like the rest of the Jewish world does.

Granted, most Jews don't do ANYTHING if they observe the Shabbat, including cooking and cleaning, but I like to think of it as my day of reflection and personal improvement. For instance, oh hell now that I think of it, this past Saturday I just went shopping and took a long nap... At any rate, I usually MEAN to do something like write a pattern for knitting or crocheting, get some crafting done, mess about with my garden, play with the dogs for a longer than usual amount of time, that sort of thing.

Why wouldn't someone like this? It's a day of rest! For me, it really isn't. As mentioned before, I get a little anxious about what I am accomplishing each weekend. Sunday I couldn't care less about because it's just... I dunno, the day before Monday to me. Back to the anxiety: There is this overwhelming feeling of needing to look back on a given day and say what I have done and be proud (for lack of a better word) of it. I have had professors that hands down would not work on Sundays due to religious beliefs. That is what I am doing with my Saturdays, in case you were wondering. I have also seen professors fall behind on their work perhaps not simply due to the fact that they take an entire day off, but I'm sure it doesn't help matters.

Then there's Monday. The coffee tastes better (Foglifter is amazing in case you were wondering, and it comes in Keurig cups!), the shower feels warmer, the animals act better... Everything just seems to fall into place for me on Mondays. By Friday night though, I need that break. I suppose that's another reason that I don't look forward to weekends: by the end of the week, I am completely out of spoons.

Oh! The spoon theory. Let me briefly explain: The idea is that you have a limited amount of "spoons" representing an action you are able to complete each day. You have a set amount of spoons depending on your condition, and once all of your spoons are gone (or, once you get to the point in the day where you cannot physically or mentally do anything else), you're SOL. You're done. You can't gain spoons back. They may replenish daily (I feel as thought mine are more of a weekly thing but I'll explain later) but again, every single action you take removes a spoon from your day.

So, yes. My spoons are more of a weekly thing. I start off with an immense amount of spoons and they kind of roll over into the next day. But by Friday, all of my spoons are gone. At 3 pm, when I am done teaching for the week, I am spent. I cannot bring myself to do anything regarding work. I suppose my spoons replenish over the weekend. I do not have a debilitating physical illness, but my depression more often than not takes the front seat by the end of the week. 

Needless to say, it's disheartening at best. I hate the feeling of weakness that enters me by the weekend.

But, I still have Monday to look forward to. That's something, at least.