Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Maybe I shouldn't be a mom

This pisses me off more than I can say. Yeah, yeah, there is a sympathy guilt-trip image associated with it and I feel awful about that. But, let's focus on the little shit on the left. Last Christmas, kids were complaining about their parents not getting them the right thing for Christmas. Fuck. That. Noise.

I've always said-- and my friends and family always think I'm joking-- that our kid will be lucky to have a stick and a real ball to play with. I'm not joking, guys. Last weekend, I told my mum and Graham that we weren't buying our kid any toys. Probably ever. My reasons are threefold:

1. I have seen kids with SO MANY TOYS that they don't know they all exist. What is a single child going to do with an entire room full of fucking toys?
2. Monetarily, I'd rather put that money toward the cliche' college fund or focus on keeping the child clothed and fed.
3. Everyone else is going to buy that child toys. Maybe that's a shitty thing to rely upon, but I have two nieces and I know how it works. When in doubt, get the kid a toy.

So in 10-15 years when little James or Lydia (shut up!) want a new hoverboard, tough shit. I don't care if their friends parents bought them the newest broomstick. I'm not Narcissa Malfoy. I do not have a manor or a house elf. I am off topic.

But, how do I justify having a huge library available for my kids? Is it not just as important for the kids to use their imagination outside of books as it is while reading? Sure!

With other people's toys.

But really though, it's about teaching the kid the value of a single object.  Will he/she get a toy from his/her mom and dad? Probably at some point. I just don't want my kid thinking that he/she will get a toy just for being good while we're out shopping or just for doing their chores. Value and possession of an object are not correlating things that are being taught to the kids that are making the news these days. Not every argument can be solved with "People are happier with less than what you have." Especially when reasoning with a child. I get the feeling of getting really excited for something when you're a kid. Hell, I still get excited when I get gifts. But if it's not what I was expecting (I've stopped hoping), it's not going to crush my spirit. In fact, it never has.

A while back, I wrote a quick blog post about the major disappointment my sister suffered one year when she was expecting Adidas shoes for the holidays. She didn't get them. I was wanting a Seal cassette tape. My parents made it seem like they hadn't gotten it for me that year, and I packed up the rest of my gifts with a slightly heavy heart but at least I wasn't crying like SOME sister I have. Then, at the last moment, my parents whipped out the tape and I was SO HAPPY.

Not all kids can be perfect like me, though. Maybe mine will be... 


  1. I got dumped by a friend after a trip to Babies 'R' Us once. How? Easy, I just said, "Wow, everything here is completely unnecessary. My kids will probably sleep in dresser drawers and play with balls of twine."

    Hyperbole? Yeah, but not by much. My favorite toys are paper, pens, string, sticks, and my hands.

    My kids will never be cold or hungry, but they will also never be bored. Only boring people get bored.

    1. Exactly! Things might be flashy and nice to look at, but it's a fact that kids will make the best of what they have if given the chance.

      On my Facebook, someone commented that sometimes giving in and buying a Pez dispenser is the difference between relative calm and an endless tantrum. I get that. Will I impulse buy things for my kids? Probably. But will they have a room full of toys at any point in their life? Hell no.